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Dear diary, I had a full day today.

I went for the JCIN UNIBEN intending members' induction. Now, considering the kind of week I've had, I honestly didn't even feel like continuing with the process. For someone who was initially so excited prior to now, I wanted so badly to give up.

But then it dawned on me that Kingatha would have wanted me there, and somehow, that was reason enough to show up.

One thing that stood out to me from today's meeting was the wholeness of the organisation. Its structure, its constitution, the sheer intentionality of it all. It felt like taking a break from my rather exhausting world and stepping into another world entirely, one of "point of order, Madam President", smiles and presentations. For a few hours, life felt a little less heavy.

Dearest reader, I'm tired in ways words cannot adequately describe. Tired and weak, essentially just here, taking each moment as it comes. But it gets better, right? I'll be able to smile without breaking? To exist without constantly feeling like I'm one little thing away from falling apart?

A poet I love once wrote, "If the grief won't leave, take it along with you."

And so I took the advice.

Maybe that's what living looks like for now. Showing up, even when every part of me would rather stay in bed, finding little pockets of life in between the grief, laughing when I can, crying when I must, and learning that I don't have to leave my grief behind to keep moving.

I'm taking it along with me, one day at a time.

@favvy_Okwans🖤.