Favvy_Okwans🖤

When King Solomon said, “A labourer’s hunger works for him,” he knew exactly what he was saying. Because tell me why I’ve been deeply focused on this particular project for weeks, almost obsessed, waking up and sleeping with it on my mind. Then the very moment upkeep money entered my account, I suddenly forgot how to create time for it. Just like that. Crazy abi? There’s a kind of fire hungry people carry. A quiet desperation that keeps them moving, even when they’re tired, even when nobody is clapping for them. And truth is, that hunger is essential for success. Not greed, but that inner push that refuses to let you rest too early. So I ask, what drives you? What do you want so badly that it keeps you disciplined even on good days? Have you noticed how you can be so locked in, so intentional, and then the moment a little relief comes, you loosen your grip? If we’re being honest, sometimes it means you were never locked in at all. It was just a means to an end. Something to endure, not...

You will think you are fine until grief shows up by 3pm on a sunny day, unannounced. One moment you are okay, functioning, the next moment, something tiny opens a door you did not plan to walk through. It could be a song, a smell, or a random pause in your day. And suddenly, grief is sitting beside you like it paid rent. This is why busy days are the best. You may be tired. You may be drained. But at least there is no time and no space to wander into memory lane. No room for your mind to start pulling files it should have left closed. That's how I had so much time on my hands today , and just like that, moments and memories rushed me like bandits. No warning, no mercy, one memory just opened another. One feeling led to ten more. I was not even trying to remember, it just happened. That is the tricky thing about grief. It does not always come loud. Sometimes it comes quiet, dressed like reflection, sounding like nostalgia, until you realise your chest feels heavy and your eyes sting...

Ladies and gentlemen, I went to church today. It has been almost a decade now, just exaggerating of course. But really, going to a new place and still figuring out where to fellowship has been my thing for a while, so everybody around me already calls me pagan. Well, God helped me today. I had a beautiful service. I hope you did too. *** There’s this one person on my contact list. He’s a friend. We share an interest in African literature and often recommend books to each other. Lately though, about 90 percent of his WhatsApp status posts have been about women and the terrible things women do. It has been very irritating. At first, I just skipped. I believe everyone has their own opinions and views. I was even considering blocking his status, but today I felt moved to ask him, “Why?” What have you been through? It was irritating, honestly. But I also believe people don’t just become things. Experiences shape people, and behind every front is trauma or something that made them that way. ...

I had a reality check today. Mehn. Story story! I charged my powerbank for the first time at a pay charge since I came to Benin. Back home, I frequented a pay charge close to my house. Based on how often I went there, I didn’t even need to bring my card or tag. If I forgot it at home, I could still take my powerbank. Everybody knew me. Familiar face.  So today, I went to pick up my powerbank and realized I forgot my card. I explained tire, no evidence. It was a strict "no tag no powerbank" rule. I had to walk back home. Tired, slightly embarrassed and fully humbled. And it hit me. Familiarity is not entitlement. Grace in one place does not automatically transfer to another. What works somewhere will not always work everywhere. Sometimes, you don’t lose access because you did something wrong, you lose it because rules are rules and this place does not know your history. It also reminded me that sometimes, we feel like systems will bend because they once did. Until one day, you...

  Do you know there is something called performance based love? And do you also realise that you can be loved simply for being yourself? Put a finger down if you once felt you had to deserve love and kindness. Put a finger down if when a stranger does something kind for you, something they did not have to do, you silently tear up. Put a finger down if the moment someone does something good for you, your mind rushes to how to reciprocate. Not always because you want to, but because you feel indebted. Like you did not deserve that kindness unless you earned it. Put a finger down if good things confuse you more than they excite you. Partly because you imagine the worst. Partly because you are always searching for ulterior motives. Put a finger down if you have loyalty down to a science. You give as much as you get. You love when you are loved. You feel obligated to love anyone who shows you kindness. Put a finger down if you always fall for the kinder person. If kindness is your only ...

“Yakubu manage. It will do like you want to die, you will not die.” Have you heard this meme recently? It is so hilarious eh. Sometimes I will just be on my own, mostly when I am struggling with something and starting to feel frustrated, and that sound will just play in my head. That is how I gather strength, because at the end of the day, I know I will get through whatever it is. I remember having a hard time with one recent thing I jumped on today. In the middle of my frustration, my boss called. I immediately broke down complaining. He just listened and nodded. When I was done, he casually told me how crazy his own day had been. I instantly stopped complaining and faced my stress. Because again, I will not die. It may feel like the end, but it is not. We still have a long ride ahead. You know that thing people say, that if everyone drops their problems on a table to exchange, once we see what others are carrying, we will quietly pick our own and walk away. Because it is not really s...