Favvy_Okwans🖤

I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, but over time I now understand what Huwa meant when she said, “I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, I wrap it in brown paper.” Because mehn, life no really send you and your squeezed face. It doesn’t get easier. And if you want to be mad about things not working the way you want them to, oga, you’ll never really be happy. It’s not because the universe is against you. It’s because life happens. Like they say, every day is not Christmas. In fact, the higher you climb, the less Christmas you get. And that’s fine. You just adjust. You move on. There’s this quote I see online a lot that says the best gift you can have is the ability to quickly move on. You had a bad day? Get over it. Something isn’t working? Try another way. Because if you dwell too much on what’s not working, you’ll miss out on what is. I also read somewhere that we have the ability to reset our brain. That is, our brain has reset buttons. For instance, if you suddenly feel sad, sit up ...

I was speaking with a senior the other day and he was like, "When life gives you bitterleaf," trying to act smart I responded with, "Make bitterleaf juice." Oga was like, "Nah, not in Nigeria. In Nigeria, when life gives you bitterleaf, you are expected to make lemonade. It's nobody's business how to get it done, you have no excuse." And it sounds wild, because how on earth am I going to make lemonade from bitterleaf? From where to where? Abi I dey perform magic or wenti. But let's be real, why some people are given lemons (silver spoon), there's another group given bitterleaf (wooden spoon), and both are expected to get the same result, 'lemonade.' When you’re given bitterleaf, you have to wash, squeeze, and prepare it. You have to work harder just to reach the starting line. Some people’s lemonade comes easy; for others, every drop is earned. Dearest reader, that’s the point. Life doesn’t hand out fairness. It hands out work. And ...

There’s this weekly report I usually send to my coach. It’s basically an update on my life and progress. I like to do it every week. While recording this week’s report, I learned something. The exact problems I was worried about last week are not the same ones this week. Which means those issues that had me freaking out somehow got sorted out along the way. And honestly, that is its own kind of epic. When you move through life without looking back to evaluate yourself, you may not notice how much progress you make daily or even how much you’ve declined. Reflection matters. There are things you think you’ll never get past and then somehow you do. But because another obstacle shows up immediately after, you forget to pause, acknowledge it, and give yourself credit for how far you’ve come. Dearest reader, one beautiful thing about documenting your life is how it makes you notice things you normally wouldn’t. And I genuinely think that’s beautiful. Do regular self checks. Monitor your prog...

I was relating something that happened to me to a friend today and he was like, “After going through all that, you still believe in good people?” and I had to explain something to him. See, when horrible things happen to us, it has a way of trying to change us. How we relate with others, the lens with which we see the world. But most times, that change is just a trauma response. When you see someone go through hurt and suddenly change who they are, or the way they behave or see things, just know they might be avoiding the healing stage. So when stuff goes south and I end up hurting or traumatized, I won’t hide or run away from the pain. I’ll face it head on, heal, and make sure it doesn’t change who I am, because my identity is the constant. Who I am should remain even when I go through the messiest bits, because who I am is more than me. It is backed up by whose I am. So even when I’m betrayed, I won’t give back as much as I get. I will lead with love, because IAM is love,...

Happy International Women's day, to all the amazing women out there , the ones making waves, building systems and causing change and impact in diverse sectors.  To the woman becoming, unraveling, striving to be more, keep at it.  To the woman broken, lost , exhausted and overwhelmed, it does get better, and one day it'll all make sense. To the woman healing, letting go, learning to love herself, it's only but a season, and it's totally worth it. Here's a old spoken word piece dedicated to woman; Many a time, I find myself wondering how a rib transcended into this seamless, divine piece of art called Woman. Not divine just because of outward beauty, but because her very essence speaks volumes of her Creator’s prowess. And often, when I look at her, I am reminded of the words: "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." Without a second thought, I would stake an entire generation to say that her heart holds more beauty than we could ever comprehen...

"If dreams do come true, I want you" ~ Trebor Just keep doing the rubbish you do. One day you’ll wake up and it will all make sense. That’s the value of compounding and tenacity. It doesn’t look like much at first, but keep at it and watch the magic unfold. I recently met someone who inspired me greatly. It’s funny how you can find inspiration in the most unconventional places because damn. This interaction had me thinking about how passively we discard certain things simply because they don’t make sense at the moment. But the audacity to keep doing the rubbish you do continually is gold. I’m telling you. Because as you climb higher, the motivation sometimes gets lower. Showing up regardless, even when it feels like you’re doing absolutely nothing, that kind of stubborn consistency is rare. Trust me, the result can eventually blow your mind. Especially when you are being true to yourself. When you kind of believe in your vision even when it’s at odds with the rest of the worl...