Favvy_Okwans🖤

It was my birthday today, and did the birthday blues get to me? Absolutely. I cried three different times today. If you had asked me why, I honestly wouldn't have had a reasonable answer for you. I just felt heavy. Every birthday carries two emotions. There's the thrill of becoming a year older and the panic of actually becoming a year older. This year was no different, except the panic seemed louder than the excitement. Still, I like to think I'm sober. Deeply grateful for life. Grateful that God has preserved me to see another year. I know that is a gift many never get to experience, and I don't take it for granted. The thing about birthdays is that they force you to reflect. They make you pause, look back, and compare where you are with where you thought you would be. And for someone like me, someone who sets specific goals and timelines for herself, birthdays almost always become an evaluation meeting. Did I become who I wanted to be? Did I do enough? Could I have t...

"Cut off the source and what it strengthens will eventually disappear." ~ X There's no fountain without a source. Literally everything we do springs from somewhere or someone. Every habit, every strength, every weakness, every pattern has something feeding it. Once that connection is severed, what it sustains begins to fade. This works both positively and negatively. I remember a season when I fell out of sync with my coach, for a long time, writing became difficult, words that used to flow effortlessly suddenly felt heavy. It wasn't until we found our rhythm again that the ease returned. Did you catch that? The connection was broken, and the flow disappeared. It reminds me of John 15:5 where Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, and I in them, will bear much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." A branch cut off from the vine cannot keep growing, a fish outside water cannot survive. When the source of life is remov...

Somebody in my department, a 500 level student, died. Today, the department held a condolence procession and candlelight walk in his honour. I wasn't planning to attend because, truthfully, I didn't know him personally. But I knew someone who did, and somehow, that was enough to pull me there. It was an emotional roller coaster. He was so young. As people shared their memories of him, I realized just how deeply he had touched the lives around him. There were tears, laughter through tears, and countless stories of kindness, leadership, and love. Even when it started raining, nobody left. We kept walking through the rain, honouring a life that had ended too soon. Listening to those who knew him, it became obvious that he had lived well. He was the kind of person who carried light wherever he went. So when the person anchoring the procession said, "A good life is not marked by the length of days," those words stayed with me. Because as heartbreaking as today was, I left ...

Something can sound right and still not be right. Our study group sessions almost always end in an argument. Today's own started from a scripture, funny enough, we don't even remember where the arguments usually spring from. Once someone raises a point, books are abandoned, everybody is defending their view, and somehow the room turns into a debate hall. Honestly, it's one of my favourite parts of our meetings because everyone is willing to think, question, and learn. Today was no different, bible apps were open, research tabs kept loading, and Google was working overtime as each person tried to prove their point. As I listened, I realised something. Something can sound good, logical, and convincing, yet still not be true. Everyone's argument made sense in one way or another, but there's a difference between sounding convincing and actually being right. A well presented opinion is still just an opinion until it is tested against the truth. In our arguments, there...

"There's a level of kindness you experience and you just know you have to be kinder." X I've had a day today. From barely getting enough sleep last night, to leaving school and heading all the way to the Sapele Road axis in Benin just to rectify an issue that turned out to be far more stressful than I expected. Somehow, I still made it back to school in four hours for a practical session that almost dragged till forever, and then I got drenched on my way home. There was no emotion I didn't feel today. Fear, sadness, anger, hunger, frustration,, you name it, I felt it. But in the middle of all that, I also experienced a level of favour and kindness that genuinely melted my heart. It all started in a UNIBEN shuttle on my way to Ring Road. My phone was on one percent, pure tragedy. My power bank had conveniently chosen today to stop working. I didn't know what to do because I needed my phone for what I was going out to do. I swallowed my very large pride and aske...

I don't think people talk enough about how powerful second person POV is. You know those stories written with "I"? It feels like someone is telling you what happened to them. Then there's third person, which I totally love by the way, where you're following the characters around like a quiet observer, watching everything unfold. But second person? Guyyyy, you're not being told the story, you are the story. I just started reading "A Broken People Playlist" by Chimeka Garricks, which is a collection of short stories, and the very first one, Lost Stars, is written in second person POV. Mehn!!! When the male lead died, I actually cried. Not that "this is sad" kind of cry. It genuinely felt like I had lost someone, it was as though the story had borrowed my heart for a few pages and decided to break it before giving it back. That's the thing with second person POV. It doesn't just invite you into the story, it hands you an identity and s...