Favvy_Okwans🖤

I read somewhere that when something keeps happening to you, instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” you should ask, “What is this trying to teach me about myself?” And honestly, have you ever had to learn the same lesson over and over again? If you have, you’ll understand how annoying it can be. Because guyyyy, I thought I learnt this last time na. Why do I keep missing the mark? Why do I keep experiencing something I should have learnt from and moved on? But it happens to the best of us. We think we’ve learnt our lesson, and then boom, it shows up again like a recurring decimal. And instead of beating yourself up, ask a better question: what is this situation trying to reveal about me? In the words of ID Kabasi, leave what’s happening and focus on what’s actually going on. Because what’s happening is a recurring lesson, but what’s actually going on is the deeper part of you that the lesson is trying to expose. And the universe is funny like that. If you don’t arrive at abso...

We decide the kind of people we want to be, irrespective of our upbringing, our background and whatever was passed down to us, there's just a point where we get to decide and take responsibility of who we become. I like how James Clear put it in his book, Atomic Habit, every action is a vote for the kind of person you want to be. This is to say that everything I do, is me choosing each day to become a certain kind of person, for instance if I tell myself that I want to do 50 press-up and then I stop at 30, I'm telling myself that it's okay to give up and overtime I'll become the kind of person that starts but doesn't follow through. If I push the blame to everyone else but myself, by that action I'm choosing to become someone incapable of owning up to my shi, and that's what I'd become over time. Now, why I agree that there're factors backing the way we behave at times, factors like upbringing and all, despite that, everyday we get to decide what tra...

In all you do, make sure you’re not lying to yourself. You can low-key fool everybody and even get away with it, but you can’t fool yourself forever. The truth will always catch up with you. This thing is usually portrayed a lot in novels and movies, where a character keeps denying reality until they can’t anymore, or until the backlash hits heavy. And I’m always screaming at them from the other side of the screen (lol), to just admit the truth. But aside from movie characters, you and I are not always honest with ourselves. We tend to run away from uncomfortable truths, until it becomes crucial, life-threatening, or simply too late. But as people, we should do better. Sweeping honesty under the carpet while we play pretend is not going to help us. In fact, it does more harm than good, because it’s like running away from a problem that will eventually catch up with you. My boss would always say, “The problem you ran from today, what’s your strategy to solve it tomorrow?” Dearest reader...

I read somewhere that you can be the brightest and prettiest shade of yellow, and you still wouldn’t be it for someone whose favourite colour is green. Now, what does that make you? Unattractive? Silly? Wrong? Inadequate? Not good enough? Nah. It only means you’re not what they’re looking for, and that is completely fine. We do this thing where we pin our self worth to someone’s standard, approval, or even the mere feedback of failure or success. And like I always say, that is a very wrong well to measure one’s worth. I was talking to a friend today, she’s suffering heartbreak, and while consoling her, I think I might’ve slipped a “you don’t stand a chance.” But I didn’t mean it in a literal sense. I meant it as, if someone was to walk away from the divine being that you are, it is simply because you’re not it for them, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Dearest reader, everything is a feedback. Not everything is a rejection. Sometimes, it’s just life redirecting you. Sometimes, ...

You know the way you’ll pass through something painful and it feels like it somehow dulls your senses. Sometimes, it’s just tragic how because of what we’ve been through, we become unable to see the good in things. Like for instance, the end of this semester has been the worst, but there were so many eventful and beautiful moments in between. Now imagine me writing off the entire semester just because of how it ended. It would simply be because I’ve been through so much, it made me forget the good parts. That is the thing about hardship. You forget that it wasn’t all bad. You can’t see beyond the hurt, and suddenly, your mind starts to paint everything with the same dark brush. It’s like suffering has a way of hijacking our memory. It makes the bad moments louder than the good ones. It makes the painful parts replay on repeat, while the soft moments get pushed to the back of our mind like they didn’t matter. Dearest reader, that’s how suffering blocks our senses. It blocks your ability...

Gist o’clock! So I’ve been writing exams for a while now, and I kid you not, it hasn’t been easy. At some point, I found myself questioning what I’m even doing here. But no, we do not give up, lol. Anyways, something happened. There was this particular day, the paper was bad. Horrible kind of bad, you get? And afterwards, I beat myself over it terribly. I literally cried myself to sleep and did all those dramatic shenanigans. Then there was another paper that was equally as bad, but this time, I left the hall completely normal. A little sad about the unexpected turn of events, yes, but normal. So what happened? Why did I cry over one and not the other, when it was basically the same scenario? Here’s what I discovered. Sometimes we don’t feel bad because we didn’t do well, but because in comparison to others, we didn’t do well. That first time, when I came out of the hall, everyone was happy and relieved because the exam had been easy. And that was what broke me. That was what made me c...