Favvy_Okwans🖤

I read somewhere that anger is a potent spice, yet too much of it makes you lose your senses. I like to say that just the way we have necessary evil, that is how we have necessary anger. There is a degree of anger you need to do certain things, you need moderate rage to finally move on from what keeps embarrassing you.  You need vexation to double your effort and do better, you need raw anger to employ self discipline, you need anger to finally say enough is enough, you need anger to walk out of situations that no longer serve you. Because let us be honest, calmness does not always move mountains, you've got to get angry every now and then so as to switch things up. Sometimes patience will make you tolerate nonsense for too long.  There is an anger that wakes you up, the one that makes you look at your life and say no, this cannot be all, the anger that makes you sit down and plan, the anger that pushes you to cut off distractions, the anger that tells you to stop ...

Today was simple. Not good, and not bad. Just one of those days that pass quietly without drama. I woke up, did what I had to do, ate, laughed small. Got tired fast, and somehow, that was enough. I used to think days had to be productive to be meaningful, like I had to do so much or else, the day was completely useless, but now I am learning that sometimes just showing up is the achievement. Simply breathing through the hours, not quitting on yourself. That counts too. There is peace in ordinary moments if you slow down enough to notice them, the sound of your own thoughts, the comfort of doing nothing for a while. The relief of knowing tomorrow is still coming. Dearest reader, if today felt plain and uneventful, you did not waste it. You lived it. And that is more than enough. @favvy_Okwans🖤.

When King Solomon said, “A labourer’s hunger works for him,” he knew exactly what he was saying. Because tell me why I’ve been deeply focused on this particular project for weeks, almost obsessed, waking up and sleeping with it on my mind. Then the very moment upkeep money entered my account, I suddenly forgot how to create time for it. Just like that. Crazy abi? There’s a kind of fire hungry people carry. A quiet desperation that keeps them moving, even when they’re tired, even when nobody is clapping for them. And truth is, that hunger is essential for success. Not greed, but that inner push that refuses to let you rest too early. So I ask, what drives you? What do you want so badly that it keeps you disciplined even on good days? Have you noticed how you can be so locked in, so intentional, and then the moment a little relief comes, you loosen your grip? If we’re being honest, sometimes it means you were never locked in at all. It was just a means to an end. Something to endure, not...

You will think you are fine until grief shows up by 3pm on a sunny day, unannounced. One moment you are okay, functioning, the next moment, something tiny opens a door you did not plan to walk through. It could be a song, a smell, or a random pause in your day. And suddenly, grief is sitting beside you like it paid rent. This is why busy days are the best. You may be tired. You may be drained. But at least there is no time and no space to wander into memory lane. No room for your mind to start pulling files it should have left closed. That's how I had so much time on my hands today , and just like that, moments and memories rushed me like bandits. No warning, no mercy, one memory just opened another. One feeling led to ten more. I was not even trying to remember, it just happened. That is the tricky thing about grief. It does not always come loud. Sometimes it comes quiet, dressed like reflection, sounding like nostalgia, until you realise your chest feels heavy and your eyes sting...

Ladies and gentlemen, I went to church today. It has been almost a decade now, just exaggerating of course. But really, going to a new place and still figuring out where to fellowship has been my thing for a while, so everybody around me already calls me pagan. Well, God helped me today. I had a beautiful service. I hope you did too. *** There’s this one person on my contact list. He’s a friend. We share an interest in African literature and often recommend books to each other. Lately though, about 90 percent of his WhatsApp status posts have been about women and the terrible things women do. It has been very irritating. At first, I just skipped. I believe everyone has their own opinions and views. I was even considering blocking his status, but today I felt moved to ask him, “Why?” What have you been through? It was irritating, honestly. But I also believe people don’t just become things. Experiences shape people, and behind every front is trauma or something that made them that way. ...

I had a reality check today. Mehn. Story story! I charged my powerbank for the first time at a pay charge since I came to Benin. Back home, I frequented a pay charge close to my house. Based on how often I went there, I didn’t even need to bring my card or tag. If I forgot it at home, I could still take my powerbank. Everybody knew me. Familiar face.  So today, I went to pick up my powerbank and realized I forgot my card. I explained tire, no evidence. It was a strict "no tag no powerbank" rule. I had to walk back home. Tired, slightly embarrassed and fully humbled. And it hit me. Familiarity is not entitlement. Grace in one place does not automatically transfer to another. What works somewhere will not always work everywhere. Sometimes, you don’t lose access because you did something wrong, you lose it because rules are rules and this place does not know your history. It also reminded me that sometimes, we feel like systems will bend because they once did. Until one day, you...