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FOREVER IN NUMBERED DAYS.

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“Don’t promise me a forever when you’re not sure of tomorrow.” ~ X I read somewhere that we don’t really understand the promises we make when we make them. And honestly, it’s true. Trust time, it will unravel the full weight of what you casually committed to. I’m the most optimistic person I know when it comes to friendship. Don’t I carry it in my head like government work? Don’t I plan my life with my friends right inside it? But the older I grew, the more the words of my bubugaga began to resonate. Life will happen. Friendships will break. And you will survive it. So yes, I’ve lost people I once couldn’t even imagine life without. I’ve moved on from the best of mates. I’ve mourned the distance between me and people I couldn’t do without at a point. And more than anything, I’ve held tightly to the friendships I still have, nurturing them, staying. But here’s the thing. Forever is infinity. It’s uncountable. And like Hazel Grace Lancaster from The Fault in Our Stars said, some infiniti...
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I had a conversation with my coach today. It has been forever since we last spoke and honestly, it was epic. He was there at a time in my life when I really needed a guide, and his presence made a huge difference. I may not have it all figured out, but the gift of access, the gift of people? Leave that one for me. It’s kind of my unfair advantage. I have shoulders I get to climb on every season, people who pour into me and impact my growth. That is one thing I’m eternally grateful to God for. That conversation had me thinking back to the beginning, the little girl who was daring enough to meet him. The shy, defensive, difficult girl. Oga even said I taught him patience. I was that much. Lol. And it made me realize something. Sometimes, we fix our gaze so much on the work left to do, the journey ahead, and how far our goals still seem, that we forget we’ve come far too. We’ve done really impressive work. We’ve outgrown certain things. We’ve learned so much. We’ve become a version of our...
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I had a conversation with my coach today. It has been forever since we last spoke and honestly, it was epic. He was there at a time in my life when I really needed a guide, and his presence made a huge difference. I may not have it all figured out, but the gift of access, the gift of people? Leave that one for me. It’s kind of my unfair advantage. I have shoulders I get to climb on every season, people who pour into me and impact my growth. That is one thing I’m eternally grateful to God for. That conversation had me thinking back to the beginning, the little girl who was daring enough to meet him. The shy, defensive, difficult girl. Oga even said I taught him patience. I was that much. Lol. And it made me realize something. Sometimes, we fix our gaze so much on the work left to do, the journey ahead, and how far our goals still seem, that we forget we’ve come far too. We’ve done really impressive work. We’ve outgrown certain things. We’ve learned so much. We’ve become a version of our...
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The Thing About Momentum

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I remember coming up with an idea I was so obsessed with for a period of time. I could swear God whispered it into my ears, and I was ready to jump on it ASAP. But it was close to exam period, so I had to study. I put everything on hold and focused on my exams, which of course was the smart thing to do. However, after exams came the cold feet, the “what ifs”, the doubts the excited version of me wasn’t scared of. I know sometimes giving things time helps. You gain proper understanding and clarity. But other times, it just gives you enough time to overthink yourself out of it. Well, that’s the story of how I dumped an idea I was once over the moon about. And the funny thing is, I might pick it up again, but it’ll take a while. That’s the thing about stopping, it becomes harder to start again. Like Newton’s law of motion: a body at rest will remain at rest, and a body in motion will remain in motion until an external force acts on it. That external force is the extra exhausti...
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COME WHAT MAY.

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The best part of my day today was church service. I almost missed it, but I still went, even though I was late. And honestly, I was so giddy and excited the whole time. There was just something about being in church that made my stressful day feel lighter, like the weight on my chest reduced, even if it was just for a while. After service, it was already late. I knew I should have gotten home earlier because I still had things to do. But as I got closer to the house, I started dreading the usual talk, the shouting, the lecture, all of it. I was already rehearsing what I would say in my head. But to my surprise, nothing happened. It was as though I didn’t just walk into the house after my curfew. No raised voice, no “where are you coming from?”, nothing. I was shocked.  You know that moment when you’re already sure you’re in trouble, so you just give up and tell yourself, “come what may”? Then you finally face it, and the punishment doesn’t come the way you expected. That was exactl...
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ASKED FOR A SEAT.

I read somewhere that the people who get their happily ever after are not the ones who sit around waiting for life to hand them things. Today was one of those days. Busy, stressful, annoying… just everything at once. And my final task for the day was to attend to a particular business owner, then finally head home. When I got to her place, it was drizzling outside. She welcomed me in, and I immediately started doing what I came there for. But you know the relationship between rain and network, right? Exactly. Network became frustrating, and what was supposed to take just 20 minutes stretched into something way longer. Now guess what. This woman didn’t offer me a chair. She was sitting comfortably, while I stood there trying to sort out the work I came for. And I hate standing for too long, so in my head I kept hoping she would say, “lemme get you a sit.” She didn’t. I stood there for a long time, until I genuinely felt like I might faint if I kept standing. That was when I finally aske...
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Esther Paul has an Esther Paul…

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There are three women I greatly admire: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Huwa, and Esther Paul. For me, it’s how they stand out in what they do, how they carry themselves with grace, and how you can tell they’re intentional about growth. I love several fragments of them. I am fortunate to have direct access to one of these great women, and that is Esther Paul. So, somewhere last week, Esther Paul posted someone on her status and the caption was really heartfelt. It was about a certain woman who was a role model to her while she was growing up. And the key things she mentioned in describing that woman were the exact same things I would use to describe Esther Paul herself. And that’s when it dawned on me. That my Esther Paul has an “Esther Paul.” In the sense that, the same way she has been an inspiration to me, she also has someone that is an inspiration to her. Someone she looks up to. Someone who helped shape her mindset and her values. Isn’t that clichĂ©? But it makes so much sense. And it f...
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