Favvy_Okwans🖤

So my period decided to show up unannounced today, right inside Chem 102 class. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t get mad. And honestly, it was my fault. I don’t even keep track of when it’s supposed to come. There I was, quietly begging God that if He could just save me from embarrassing myself this one time, I’d immediately download the Flo app and start tracking this annoying circle like a responsible human being. More than anything, I wanted to disappear. Like run out of that class instantly, go straight home, have a long bath, and sleep away the discomfort. But God forbid a girl gets her heart’s desire 😭. That Chem class dragged like it was being sponsored, I was literally counting minutes till the lecture would end. I was sitting there, trying not to die of discomfort, with this vivid fear that if I stood up, the whole class would burst into laughter(Wrong day to be sitting at the front). At the same time, I was forcing myself to understand what was being taught because it was a pretty...

Today was… mehn. You know that phrase, “To be forewarned is to be forearmed.” Meaning, if you already know something is coming, you’re better prepared to handle it. At first, it sounded a bit weird to me, because life doesn’t always give you enough time to prepare. Sometimes you’re warned and still shaken. Sometimes you’re warned and still scared. But I think the real point is not that you won’t feel pressure, it’s that you won’t be helpless. That was exactly my experience with the practical I had today. I was forewarned a few days ago, and yesterday night, I made sure to prepare adequately. Now, from hearing other people’s experiences, I already knew it was going to be tight. So the moment we started, I was fast, you get. The impromptu submission didn’t affect me much because I was ready for it. Again, to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Sometimes we have the advantage of knowing what the people before us have had to go through, but that knowledge is meant to help us do b...

“No one can live above what they believe about themselves.” ~ X I read this somewhere and my first thought was, really, what are my consistent beliefs about myself? I was able to narrow down a couple of them, and it dawned on me that most of what I attempt is a result of what I believe about myself. I believe that at the end of the day, I’ll be able to get the most herculean tasks done excellently, even if it’s close to the deadline. And because of that, I often procrastinate and delay till then, and somehow I still deliver. Another instance is that I believe I cannot cook, and so I can’t cook. If there’s an option to not attempt it, I’d rather rest and not try, do you see? So, dearest reader, what are your beliefs about you? How do you see yourself? Because that’s so important, as it defines how far you can go. What you can do or cannot do is a function of the kind of belief systems you uphold, do you get? Therefore, ensure you have the right belief systems. Ensure you rate yourself. ...

I read somewhere that pain makes you a better person, but while it is true, there's a side to it, so I will like to paraphrase it, “if you let it, pain can make you a better person.” A poet I love once said, the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt. So pain isn't comfortable, and discomfort often advances your attitude. Therefore, pain can either make you bitter and angry, or angry enough to become better. You become effectively angry, a kind of anger that makes you want to make stuff work. That is how, and only how, pain can make you better. Another this is that, when pain overstays, it can start shaping your mindset, your reactions, even the way you see people. It can make you suspicious of love, tired of trying, and quick to assume the worst. So yes, pain can make you better, but only when you refuse to let it turn you into someone you do not recognise. When you let it teach you, not destroy you.  Dearest reader, pain will always leave a mark, the real question is ...

So, something funny happened today. My sister took a drug, her normal routine drug that helps with a particular pain. And madam was waiting for it to kick in, because it usually takes a while before it starts working, you get? She waited and waited and waited, yet no single relief. Only for her to later find out that she had taken the wrong drug. It’s like taking water for malaria and then spending the whole time waiting for the water to start working and fight the disease. It was simply a case of expecting a result when the action that guarantees that result had not been accurately taken. Like a farmer waiting for harvest when he has not sown. So when it finally dawned on her that she took the wrong stuff, it made sense why she hadn’t felt any relief. And honestly, sometimes that’s how life is. We’re waiting for a result that is not forthcoming, but if you check the system well, you’ll see the bug, the reason it’s not giving what it should give. I like to see life as fair....

You know the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego?  That was one of today's sermon texts and I noticed for the first time something they said that really stood out for me, because most times we only pay attention to the first part of their statement. They said, “Our God can save us.” That’s the first part.But the second part is what shocked me.  “But if He chooses not to…” Did you see that? Like, we know God is able, we know He can show up, we know He can do the impossible. But even if He doesn’t, we still won’t bow. We still won’t compromise. We still won’t switch sides. That is a kind of faith that is not common. It’s giving, “God is my Father and I trust Him, but even if He doesn’t come through the way I want, I’m still not leaving Him.” And that’s deep, because it means they were not loyal because they were expecting something, they were loyal because faithfulness had become their identity. It wasn’t a “God please do it so I can believe” kind of thing. It was a lifestyl...