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My favourite text from the book of Book of Proverbs is Proverbs 13:20. It reads, and I quote, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” It is just right. Association is a powerful factor we mostly underestimate. Have you ever been part of a group and it suddenly dawned on you that you can be more? You may not even notice it at first. You just keep hanging around certain kinds of people, and their consistent behaviour begins to subtly rub off on you. One day you wake up and realize you have come far from where you used to be. You have picked up certain foreign traits simply as a result of association. Hence the need for your circle to be solid. I once read somewhere that if you want to go further or climb higher, surround yourself with people who are actively climbing, or who have already climbed to the point you desire. Their experience may just rub off on you. That is why mentorship exists. As a lazy person, let me share this small hack with you. If ...
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Some days you feel like you’re doing well in life. Other days you’re just there wondering if anything you’re doing is even working. And the funny thing is both can be happening at the same time. You can be growing and still feel confused. You can be making progress and still feel like you’re behind. You can be trying your best and still feel like it’s not enough. Life is strange like that. But one thing I’m slowly learning is that not every season of life will give you visible results. Some seasons are just for showing up, learning quietly, adjusting your mindset and trusting that eventually things will make sense. You might not see it now, but something is shifting. Dearest reader, if today feels a little uncertain, breathe, continue, tomorrow might explain what today cannot. @favvy_Okwansđź–¤.
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WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE.

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I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, but over time I now understand what Huwa meant when she said, “I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, I wrap it in brown paper.” Because mehn, life no really send you and your squeezed face. It doesn’t get easier. And if you want to be mad about things not working the way you want them to, oga, you’ll never really be happy. It’s not because the universe is against you. It’s because life happens. Like they say, every day is not Christmas. In fact, the higher you climb, the less Christmas you get. And that’s fine. You just adjust. You move on. There’s this quote I see online a lot that says the best gift you can have is the ability to quickly move on. You had a bad day? Get over it. Something isn’t working? Try another way. Because if you dwell too much on what’s not working, you’ll miss out on what is. I also read somewhere that we have the ability to reset our brain. That is, our brain has reset buttons. For instance, if you suddenly feel sad, sit up ...
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I was speaking with a senior the other day and he was like, "When life gives you bitterleaf," trying to act smart I responded with, "Make bitterleaf juice." Oga was like, "Nah, not in Nigeria. In Nigeria, when life gives you bitterleaf, you are expected to make lemonade. It's nobody's business how to get it done, you have no excuse." And it sounds wild, because how on earth am I going to make lemonade from bitterleaf? From where to where? Abi I dey perform magic or wenti. But let's be real, why some people are given lemons (silver spoon), there's another group given bitterleaf (wooden spoon), and both are expected to get the same result, 'lemonade.' When you’re given bitterleaf, you have to wash, squeeze, and prepare it. You have to work harder just to reach the starting line. Some people’s lemonade comes easy; for others, every drop is earned. Dearest reader, that’s the point. Life doesn’t hand out fairness. It hands out work. And ...
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There’s this weekly report I usually send to my coach. It’s basically an update on my life and progress. I like to do it every week. While recording this week’s report, I learned something. The exact problems I was worried about last week are not the same ones this week. Which means those issues that had me freaking out somehow got sorted out along the way. And honestly, that is its own kind of epic. When you move through life without looking back to evaluate yourself, you may not notice how much progress you make daily or even how much you’ve declined. Reflection matters. There are things you think you’ll never get past and then somehow you do. But because another obstacle shows up immediately after, you forget to pause, acknowledge it, and give yourself credit for how far you’ve come. Dearest reader, one beautiful thing about documenting your life is how it makes you notice things you normally wouldn’t. And I genuinely think that’s beautiful. Do regular self checks. Monitor your prog...
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I AM IAM's

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I was relating something that happened to me to a friend today and he was like, “After going through all that, you still believe in good people?” and I had to explain something to him. See, when horrible things happen to us, it has a way of trying to change us. How we relate with others, the lens with which we see the world. But most times, that change is just a trauma response. When you see someone go through hurt and suddenly change who they are, or the way they behave or see things, just know they might be avoiding the healing stage. So when stuff goes south and I end up hurting or traumatized, I won’t hide or run away from the pain. I’ll face it head on, heal, and make sure it doesn’t change who I am, because my identity is the constant. Who I am should remain even when I go through the messiest bits, because who I am is more than me. It is backed up by whose I am. So even when I’m betrayed, I won’t give back as much as I get. I will lead with love, because IAM is love,...
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Happy International Women's day, to all the amazing women out there , the ones making waves, building systems and causing change and impact in diverse sectors.  To the woman becoming, unraveling, striving to be more, keep at it.  To the woman broken, lost , exhausted and overwhelmed, it does get better, and one day it'll all make sense. To the woman healing, letting go, learning to love herself, it's only but a season, and it's totally worth it. Here's a old spoken word piece dedicated to woman; Many a time, I find myself wondering how a rib transcended into this seamless, divine piece of art called Woman. Not divine just because of outward beauty, but because her very essence speaks volumes of her Creator’s prowess. And often, when I look at her, I am reminded of the words: "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." Without a second thought, I would stake an entire generation to say that her heart holds more beauty than we could ever comprehen...
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