What is loyalty?

Is it still loyalty when there are certain boundaries, certain lengths you simply would not go to, even for someone you love or deeply respect?

I was having a conversation with someone recently, and their definition of loyalty and reverence sort of baffled me. I was of the opinion that you could be loyal to someone and still have meaningful boundaries. That you could love, respect and stand by someone without automatically agreeing with everything they do or following them everywhere they go.

They, however, seemed to believe that loyalty meant jumping into the fire because the person you are loyal to jumped in first or said you should. That if you truly revered someone, questioning them, disagreeing with them, or refusing to follow them into certain places somehow made your loyalty questionable.

And it got me thinking.

Because where exactly does loyalty end and blind allegiance begin?

Is loyalty doing whatever someone asks because you love them, or is it loving them enough to say, “I cannot go there with you”?

Can you be loyal and still say no? Can you respect someone deeply and still disagree with them? Can you stand beside someone without standing behind everything they do?

I think sometimes we confuse loyalty with the absence of boundaries. We think the more we are willing to sacrifice, tolerate, overlook or follow, the more loyal we must be. But perhaps loyalty is not measured by how far we are willing to go, but by the honesty with which we choose to stay.

Because what happens when the person you are loyal to is wrong? Does loyalty require you to become wrong with them? Or does true loyalty sometimes look like having the courage to say, “I love you, but I cannot follow you here”?

I believe there is a difference between standing by someone and standing for everything they stand for.

And what if the question is not simply, “Are you loyal?" Perhaps it is, “What exactly does loyalty mean to you, and where does your loyalty end?”

Dearest reader, I wonder what your answer would be. Where is that line for you? What is the furthest you would go for someone you love, and what is the one place you know you would have to stop, even if stopping made them question your loyalty? 

What does loyalty look like for you? 

@favvy_Okwans🖤.