"MEN DEY" (6).

There's this thing Pastor Iren would say. He'd say, "Proximity to the blessed will make you blessed, and proximity to the cursed will make you cursed." You can make or mar your life by proximity.

He'd usually illustrate this with the story of Abraham's interaction with a pagan king made the king successful and how Lot's proximity to Sodom nearly led to his destruction alongside the city.

I was having a conversation with a friend today, and he raised a question about whether there could have been innocent people in the biblical cities God instructed the Israelites to destroy and take over. It started as a joke, but there are certain things I don't find particularly funny, one of which is biblical misinterpretation. 

My position was that these cities had been given opportunities to turn away from their evil ways, yet they persisted. And when judgment came, the consequences weren't necessarily limited to the individuals whose actions had contributed to the city's wickedness.

Then he asked me something I couldn't immediately answer. He said there are bad girls in Nigeria, but I'm a good girl. If the sins of these bad girls were to be punished, would it be fair for me to suffer alongside them?

I didn't have a comeback, but the question stayed with me for hours.

Then I thought about this. If I were in a club with people who had committed a terrible crime, and the police raided the place, I could very well be arrested alongside the actual perpetrators. It wouldn't mean I committed their crime, but my presence in that environment could still expose me to its consequences.

Of course, being arrested doesn't automatically mean being convicted, and the analogy isn't a perfect explanation of divine judgment. But it got me thinking about how proximity can affect our lives in ways that go beyond our individual choices.

Now, why am I telling you this story?

Because I believe the "Men Dey" video was largely misinterpreted, and I can understand how some of that misinterpretation happened. But I also think there's something worth examining beyond the arguments about what the women said and what the pastor meant.

Sometimes, when we belong to a group, we become associated with its actions, even when we don't personally agree with them. A few women express certain expectations, and suddenly, all women are being asked to defend themselves. A few men behave terribly, and suddenly, all men are under suspicion.

And while it is unfair to hold individuals accountable for what they haven't done, we cannot pretend that our associations never shape how others perceive us or the consequences we encounter.

Dearest reader, this is why we must be intentional about the company we keep, the values we defend, and the things we allow ourselves to be associated with. Not because everyone around us is a reflection of who we are, but because sometimes, the consequences of our proximity extend beyond our intentions.

You may not share their convictions, but you could still find yourself caught in the consequences of their choices.

@favvy_Okwans🖤.