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I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're allowed to have feelings about the things you look forward to, even when you understand why they didn't happen.

You know that situation where you're looking forward to something, and then it doesn't happen because something comes up? Whatever came up is understandable, and you genuinely get it, but you still feel some kind of way about the whole situation.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about, and I'm here to tell you that it's valid! You're allowed to feel that way.

Understanding doesn't make disappointment hurt any less. It gives you perspective, yes, but our very humanness means we have feelings, and they shouldn't be suppressed. They can be communicated, but never suppressed.

Sometimes, we go through disappointments and pretend to act like it's all chill simply because we understand why things happened the way they did. But understanding why doesn't annul what happened. Understanding that things had to be this way doesn't automatically make us feel better.

Understanding is logic. It's the part of you that thinks things through and reasons with what is. But as a human being, there's another part of you that feels, and the thing is, both can coexist. You can understand a situation and still feel disappointed by it. One shouldn't have to substitute for the other.

Dearest reader, I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but allow me to repeat it: your feelings are valid!

You're allowed to feel hurt about plans you've been looking forward to for weeks that got cancelled at the last minute, even if you absolutely understand why they had to be cancelled. You're allowed to sit with the disappointment of not doing as well as you wanted to, even when you've analysed the situation and understand what went wrong.

Sometimes, you analyse a situation and convince yourself that it doesn't matter, that it's not a big deal, when, in fact, it meant a lot to you. You reason your way out of feeling something simply because you've found a logical explanation for it.

But biko, it's okay to feel things about situations that are out of your control, even when you understand why they happened. You don't have to pretend you're okay just because you understand, you don't have to invalidate your feelings just because you can see the bigger picture.

Both things can be true, and you don't have to choose one over the other.




@favvy_Okwansđź–¤.

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