..

 Today my half blind screen phone fell and well, didn’t make it. I’ve had a crappy day to start with and I didn’t have the strength to deal , I just picked it up and went home. 

On my way home, I really oddly enjoyed the wind on my hair while on bike, it was really refreshing. I felt I’d be angry enough to cry or throw a fit but I was too exhausted, exhausted from everything I had to carry recently , I didn’t have the strength. So I just enjoyed my ride home, had a cold bath, and crawled up in bed thinking about some fantasy yada before I remembered, I had to write my so called content of the day.

The point is, you can be so exhausted that your response to tragedy is calm, because you’ve lost it so many times that it doesn’t make sense to anymore. Like you’ve cried so much you realize on your own that crying doesn’t cut it, you just are, tired.

KingAtha was like , “you should be falling apart being phoneless and all” and what came to mind was this particular patient from grey’s anatomy with this condition, an insufferable constant pain that is always at an 8 on a scale of one to ten. The patient said he had been in so much pain daily that even when he lost his wife he couldn’t feel the pain of the loss before he was already in pain so overwhelming it covers whatever grief he was supposed to feel. 

Dearest reader, sometimes we no longer snap when we experience unexpected disasters not because it didn’t touch us or affect us , but because we’re already going through something so overwhelming that you’re left too exhausted to feel anything else. 

Anywaysssssss, in the voice of Tobe, how was your day jhor?

@favvy_Okwans🖤.