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"It's either they get the message and they change, or they don't get the message, but they stop abusing you." ~ X

To that one person who feels that speaking up about what makes you uncomfortable would get you misunderstood or ruin the friendship, hear me out.

Not talking isn't protecting the relationship, it's empowering the behaviour that keeps hurting you. 

Read that axiom again.

Most times, we're so scared of how people will react to our feelings that we choose silence instead. We convince ourselves that enduring it is easier than having an uncomfortable conversation, but silence rarely solves anything, more often than not, it teaches people that your boundaries are optional.

The truth is, it can only go two ways; They either get the message and make an effort to change, or they don't fully understand it, but they become aware enough to stop doing the very thing that makes you uncomfortable. Either way, you've been heard, and to me, that's already a win.

Dearest reader, and if someone consistently dismisses your feelings, or makes you feel guilty for expressing what hurts you, is that really a friendship or relationship worth exhausting yourself to preserve?

The right people may not get everything right the first time, but they'll care enough to try. They'll value you enough to listen, not because you're demanding perfection, but because they don't want to be the reason you're in pain.

And if your truth costs you a relationship, perhaps what you lost wasn't safety, but the illusion of it.

@favvy_Okwans🖤.