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You know what pisses me off so much? People knowing that you're a certain way, choosing that with open eyes, and then waking up one morning to decide that you being what you've always been is suddenly a problem.

Now, this isn't talking about the extreme where people refuse to grow and stick to "take me as I am" or "this is who I am," but the sudden having an issue with parts of people they never hid. I would always say, the purest form of love is letting people be themselves, the messiest, craziest, cringiest versions of themselves. Just allow them.

My roommate loves music like her life depends on it. From K-pop, where you don't even hear or understand what the singers are saying, to rap and trap. I don't fancy music much, but I've always known that coexisting means signing up for certain not-so-much-my-kind-of-things, so we let each other be ourselves.

Now, imagine I wake up one day and I'm like, new rule: I don't want to hear any K-pop in this house again. I detest your K-pop. How would that seem? Isn't it the same K-pop she has loved since forever?

That's exactly how it is when you wake up one morning and suddenly have an issue with a part of people they have never hidden. It's flat-out annoying and illegitimate.

Of course, people are allowed to change their minds. They are allowed to realise that certain things no longer work for them. They are allowed to set boundaries and decide what they can and cannot tolerate. But there is a difference between someone changing and someone suddenly acting as though the thing you have always been is a personal offence against them.

And sometimes, the problem isn't even that you have changed. Sometimes, it's that the other person has changed their mind about you.

Which is fine, you are allowed to leave, you are allowed to outgrow people, you are allowed to decide that you no longer want something.

But please, do not make people feel guilty for being exactly who they told you they were from the beginning.

Dearest reader, people are not projects, you do not get to meet someone as they are, accept them as they are, love them as they are, and then one day decide that the parts of them you once knew about are suddenly character flaws.

If you cannot live with the music, don't move into the house and then blame the person for playing it.

And if you do choose to stay, learn the difference between asking someone to grow and asking them to become someone else entirely.

@favvy_Okwans🖤.