FOREVER IN NUMBERED DAYS.

“Don’t promise me a forever when you’re not sure of tomorrow.” ~ X

I read somewhere that we don’t really understand the promises we make when we make them. And honestly, it’s true. Trust time, it will unravel the full weight of what you casually committed to.

I’m the most optimistic person I know when it comes to friendship. Don’t I carry it in my head like government work? Don’t I plan my life with my friends right inside it?

But the older I grew, the more the words of my bubugaga began to resonate. Life will happen. Friendships will break. And you will survive it.

So yes, I’ve lost people I once couldn’t even imagine life without. I’ve moved on from the best of mates. I’ve mourned the distance between me and people I couldn’t do without at a point. And more than anything, I’ve held tightly to the friendships I still have, nurturing them, staying.

But here’s the thing.

Forever is infinity. It’s uncountable.

And like Hazel Grace Lancaster from The Fault in Our Stars said, some infinities are bigger than other infinities. Between 0 and 1 lies an infinite range of numbers, and that alone is something.

So maybe it’s a viewpoint problem when we get angry at people for staying “only a while” after promising forever. If forever equals infinity, then when they stick around for an infinite number of days, they actually did give you a forever.

Two weeks could be an infinity. Do you get it? A month? That’s a bigger infinity. A year? Even greater.

Because between 0 and 1 lies endless numbers we can never finish counting, and that’s the smallest infinity there is.

Dearest reader, does this make sense to you? I really hope it does.

What inspired this thought?

I was thinking back to a “I’ll always have your back” friend I once had, who is now just a status viewer. It almost made me sad until it dawned on me that while our friendship lasted, he really did always have my back.

It was numbered days.

It wasn’t as long as I expected or wanted, but it was still infinite. The moments, the memories, the version of us that existed, it mattered.

So yes, life will happen.

But everybody you meet, every friendship you experience, even if it eventually breaks, will leave you with a forever in numbered days, a kind of infinity.

Don’t dwell too much on the end. Look at the beauty in-between the 0 till whenever it crashed, and you’ll be grateful to have a tragedy so small it fits on the tip of your tongue.

Good night.

@favvy_Okwans🖤.