TO BE A WRITER… (2)

You know how people get angry and just… explode? Raise their voice, say things, pour everything out in the heat of the moment?

Yeah… I do that too, just not with my mouth, I do it with words, i do it in writing, and that’s one thing about being a writer, you get to feel everything fully without necessarily destroying everything around you.

Because if I’m being honest, I can be very emotional. And when I’m angry, I’m not just angry… I’m angry.

There was this day, a course mate did something that really got to me.

I could feel the rage building, like something sitting hot in my chest, waiting to spill. I wanted to react, I wanted to say something.

But I knew… if I opened my mouth, my words would be laced with venom, so I didn’t. I instead walked away, found a quiet corner, and sat on a staircase.

Next thing, I was typing fast. Almost like my fingers were trying to outrun my emotions, I was infact pouring everything out. Every single thing I wanted to say, i said it there.

On that page.

And at the same time, I was crying, proper crying. Not even forming strong again. When I was done, I went back and read what I had written.

Omor…

If I had said those things out loud ehn? It would have scattered things beyond repair. The words? Blood of God. I won’t even lie, I can be mean.

But it’s my notepad that truly knows the full extent of it.

And somehow, that’s the beauty of it.

Because in writing, I get to release without ruining, I get to feel without regretting, I get to say everything… without actually saying it.

So, dearest reader, to be a writer is also this: to hold back your tongue,

but not your truth, to let the words too heavy for your mouth find their way through your fingers.

Because sometimes, you may not be able to speak it well… but you can write it perfectly. And in that quiet release, you save yourself from becoming someone you didn’t mean to be.

That too…

is the relief of bleeding on paper.

@favvy_Okwans🖤.