Rory’s Rejection

Another day to fill you in on a little gossip from the series I’m currently watching, Gilmore Girls. It has been an escape most times. However, it’s also usually a chance to think and analyze things.

So my favorite character in the series, Rory, got an internship with the biggest news man in the state. It had always been her dream since she was three years old to become a journalist, so this was a huge deal. A mighty step toward her goal.

She gave it her best shot, did all that was asked of her, was efficient and dedicated. But at the end of the internship, her role model sat her down and gave her an honest assessment based on her performance.

Now, oga was pretty blunt. He told her that he has a strong gut sense and can detect who has what it takes to succeed in journalism. After spending time with her, he concluded that she did not have it. In other words, she did not have what it takes to be a journalist.

This drove my girl crazy. Really crazy. She dropped out of school and literally gave up on herself. While what he said was very discouraging and harsh, it was still feedback.

I know it’s not easy hearing something like that from someone you greatly admire. Imagine finally meeting Chimamanda, landing an internship with her, and she tells you she doesn’t think you’re a good writer and suggests you consider another career path. I’d be broken. Still, it would be feedback. And the real question is, what do you do with feedback?

You take it back, analyze it, question it, and also question the person it’s coming from to understand the context. The first question after hearing “you don’t have it” should be “Sir, what exactly is it?”

What does it entail to have it? How does one arrive at that point?

Sometimes we give up on ourselves based on what someone says about us. It’s crazy, but I’ve experienced it, and I know firsthand what it feels like. We allow people’s opinions to define the borders of our possibilities. The funny thing is that people will always have opinions. It’s an endless spiral.

What truly matters is what you do with the opinions and feedback handed to you. Do you take them back to the system and question them? Or do you simply accept them, sulk, and let them define you?

My coach would say life is FAIR, meaning

F stands for feedback loops

A stands for attitude

I stands for inference

R stands for response

Everything is feedback. How you take it and assess it reflects your attitude. What you infer from it becomes your inference, and that inference drives the action you take as a response. Then the circle continues.

Dearest reader, how do you take rejection? I know I don’t take it very well. So to my fellow Rorys, let’s do better. Let’s question the labels we allow to define us.

@favvy_Okwans🖤