CHRONICLES OF LADY AVA: Guilt and Loathe Are Often Related

I was taking a well-deserved break today after a rather tedious week, so I found comfort in one African novel. While reading, I caught myself judging the main character for displaying a level of stupidity I found both annoying and irritating.

I was even more upset because the character was a woman, and it made us look bad, made us look weak. That was when I paused and asked myself, "Why am I really upset?"

And then it hit me. I was equally guilty of the very thing I was loathing.

I had recently done something just as foolish, without even realizing it.

Like Ava would say, we are always justifying our own foolishness, yet we are quick to call out others on theirs. And when we look closely, the things that offend us the most are often things we have experienced ourselves or are guilty of.

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If there’s anyone I learned the habit of staying out late from, it is Ava. One time, we all went out and got home very late. She was seriously beaten by her older brother. We could not understand where all the anger was coming from.

Later, she told us that when he was her age, he had a similar habit. One night, while coming home, he went through something so traumatic that he never came home late again. Now, this explains him almost beating her to death lol 

Dearest reader, my anger toward that novel character reminded me of Ava’s experience with her brother. It helped me realize the real reason I was upset.

I was the stupid character. We were alike. And that is often an unnerving truth to confront.

The next time you are upset, ask yourself, "Why is this so upsetting to me?" And give yourself the grace to be honest.

#COLA

@favvy_Okwans🖤.