NOT ADMITTED!

I feel like when things are written in capital letters, they’re screaming at me or scolding me. Staring back at the "NOT ADMITTED" on my JAMB CAPS, I felt a sting of disappointment mixed with a sense of knowing.

Of course, I was 11 marks below the cutoff. What was I expecting? What was even more painful was the memory of how these two words traumatized me last year.

I took the same exam last year, and every time I checked my admission status, those words stared back at me, mocking me. I would check JAMB CAPS every day, every time I heard about someone's admission, sometimes more than five times a day.

It broke me — refreshing the page, willing it to change like it did for everyone else. Who would have thought that two simple words could be so traumatic, so soul-crushing?

I'm older now, and wiser, I suppose. Yet, those words still frighten me. Honestly, will we ever outgrow the feeling of uncertainty that sits in the pit of our stomach with anxiety? How our stomach twists into knots at a crossroads?

Dearest reader, have you experienced that breathtaking moment of anxiously waiting for news that will decide the next phase of your life?

@favvy_Okwans🖤.