“It is well.” “God knows best.” “I’m sorry.” I don’t think there’s ever an appropriate way or perfect words to console someone who has suffered a loss. Most times, you don’t even need to say anything. All those “I’m sorry for your loss” comments are low-key infuriating because here I am trying to get over the fact that my phone is gone forever, and you’re reminding me how miserable I already feel. Today has been a blur. I was too tired from all the crying, so I just slept. After waking up, I’d go back to sleep, and that’s basically how the entire day went. It was only this evening that I finally picked myself up because the deed had already been done and whether I felt like it or not, the show must go on. Yes, it hurts. So much that even the promise of a new phone didn’t make me feel better because that particular phone wasn’t just a phone. It contained too much,, writings I never completed, poems left unfinished, videos I never posted, and projects I never implemented. Now, enoug...
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CONTENT OF THE DAY!
I like to say I have a thing for consistency. Once I’m locked in on something, no matter the odds, I’ll always show up. That’s why on a day like this, the worst day of my life so far, I’m still here writing, because writing isn’t just what I do anymore, it has become who I am. There’s such a thing as the worst day of one’s life, and I always imagined mine would be losing someone dear to me. But today, although I did suffer a loss, it wasn’t a person, it was a thing. Something that had become an important part of me, what I jokingly call the love of my life. I lost my phone today. I still can’t believe it. The same phone that had once been an answered prayer. The same phone that contained every important detail of my life. It mattered too much. I was on a shuttle bus from Ring Road to UNIBEN after an impossibly stressful day trying to sort out a document issue. As the bus drove off, I reached into my bag to bring out my phone and use it and, lo and behold, it wasn’t there. Panic washed ...
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I posted a poetry video today, and when I watched it again, I felt so proud. Not because it was the first time I was reciting those lines in front of a camera, but because this time was so much better. It made me think back to my first attempt at the exact same poem, about a year ago. I made that video when I had just started putting myself out there, and honestly, it was scary. But I still did it. I recorded it, and I posted it. It wasn’t perfect, it was just me at that time. I showed up the best way I knew how. And recently, I’ve been doing so much better. I’m not where I want to be yet, but the facial expressions that used to be my biggest struggle for the longest time are finally improving. Going back to find that first video and watching it again was such an emotional moment for me because damn,,, girl, you’ve improved so much. So why am I saying this? If you’re shy, this is your sign to put yourself out there. Nobody really sends you like that. And even if they laugh at your firs...
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I posted a poetry video today, and when I watched it again, I felt so proud. Not because it was the first time I was reciting those lines in front of a camera, but because this time was so much better. It made me think back to my first attempt at the exact same poem, about a year ago. I made that video when I had just started putting myself out there, and honestly, it was scary. But I still did it. I recorded it, and I posted it. It wasn’t perfect, it was just me at that time. I showed up the best way I knew how. And recently, I’ve been doing so much better. I’m not where I want to be yet, but the facial expressions that used to be my biggest struggle for the longest time are finally improving. Going back to find that first video and watching it again was such an emotional moment for me because damn,,, girl, you’ve improved so much. So why am I saying this? If you’re shy, this is your sign to put yourself out there. Nobody really sends you like that. And even if they laugh at your firs...
ENOUGH!
Why do you see someone else’s progress as a sign of your failure? I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, it’s completely okay to not have it all. That whole feeling bad about your situation just because someone is doing better than you? It’s unnecessary. Everybody is running their own race, so you can’t use someone else’s journey as a metric to measure your progress. In the words of TheOlushola, “Do your best.” As long as you’re doing your best, even if you don’t have all the next person has, it really shouldn’t bother you. A few days ago, I watched a video of Pastor Irene Emmanuel on someone’s WhatsApp status. He told a story about two guys who were constantly being compared. The person comparing them told one of them, “You see that other guy? What he earns in a day, your entire fortune is not up to it.” But the guy responded calmly. He said he had something the other guy didn’t. And guess what it was? He said, “I have enough.” That story rang in my head for days, he had enough....
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Dearest reader, here's a old piece I stumbled on lately, lemme know what you do think, do you believe people are just nice ? **** I don’t believe in good people. Everyone is carrying an agenda, a second mouth behind the first, an ulterior motive tucked neatly beneath their tongue. So when he smiles, I wonder, what is happening inside his head? What storms are rehearsing behind his eyelids? And does that smile even make it past his lips, or does it die quietly in his teeth like a secret that refused to be spoken? I don’t believe in nice people. People are not just nice. They are polished blades wrapped in velvet, endlessly plotting, constantly arranging their intentions like chess pieces on a table you never knew you were sitting at. There is always a catch. A hook hidden in the handshake. A price tag hanging behind the compliment. A contract written in invisible ink. I haven’t met so many people, And I don’t know everything, but this much I know, the people who have hurt me the mos...
Bad Period Day...
So my period decided to show up unannounced today, right inside Chem 102 class. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t get mad. And honestly, it was my fault. I don’t even keep track of when it’s supposed to come. There I was, quietly begging God that if He could just save me from embarrassing myself this one time, I’d immediately download the Flo app and start tracking this annoying circle like a responsible human being. More than anything, I wanted to disappear. Like run out of that class instantly, go straight home, have a long bath, and sleep away the discomfort. But God forbid a girl gets her heart’s desire ðŸ˜. That Chem class dragged like it was being sponsored, I was literally counting minutes till the lecture would end. I was sitting there, trying not to die of discomfort, with this vivid fear that if I stood up, the whole class would burst into laughter(Wrong day to be sitting at the front). At the same time, I was forcing myself to understand what was being taught because it was a pretty...