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One thing about me is that I’m genuinely impressed with myself o. Not in a proud, arrogant way. More like… I actually rate myself. And the funny thing is, it’s not even follow come. I learned it. I built it. For someone who used to have such shitty self esteem, I’ve really come far, and I don’t take that growth for granted. There’s this WhatsApp quote I see a lot, it says, “Be with someone who sees you as a big deal.” And every time I see it, I always think, no, be the kind of person that sees you as a big deal first. Because truth be told, when you don’t rate yourself, it’s like you’re silently giving people permission to underrate you too. People will walk over you with dirty shoes and you’ll still be smiling like it’s normal. One poet I love once said something like, “The love you’re so desperate to receive from others, give it to yourself first.” And honestly, that thing is deep. If you want to be treated like the next best thing after sliced bread, start by treating yourself like ...
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It’s been a while since I last watched a K drama, but after finishing my long series, How to Get Away with Murder, I decided to switch things up and watch something light, dreamy, and fantasy filled. That was how I started a K drama titled Lovely Runner, and wow… it’s the kind of beautiful, heartbreaking love story that makes your eyes water without even warning you. I remember the friend who recommended it telling me, “The total time those characters were truly happy in the whole series is not even up to two episodes.” I honestly thought she was exaggerating, but after watching it, I completely understood what she meant. The story was fun, interesting, emotional, and I genuinely enjoyed it, even though it stressed me like mahd. At some point, my sister saw me watching the series and just shaking my head like somebody that life has dealt with. She laughed and said, “This is why I don’t like K drama. It’s unrealistic, the characters are too slow, too soft.” And I replied, “If you want f...
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Moving on is a decision. Calm down, before you say “easier said than done”, listen. Moving on and doing better starts from the moment you decide to. Not the wishful “I really want to move on” or “I really want to do better.” No. The real deal. The kind of decision that sits in your chest like a final verdict. The kind you make with your full mind and not just your emotions. Sometimes we love the idea of “better”, the idea of having “moved on”, but if we’re being honest, we’re not always ready for it. Just like the children of Israel who cried to God for freedom, but when freedom finally came, they started missing the familiarity of bondage. Because at least bondage was predictable. At least they knew what to expect. The thing is, deciding will cost you what you’ve gotten comfortable with. Moving on will demand that you cut off certain things, unlearn certain habits, and walk away from patterns that have become your normal. And deciding to move on is you agreeing to cut those things off...
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I’ve really had a long day. Today, I had a report to fill and I’m not even exaggerating when I say it almost finished me. I do reports every week, so I started the day feeling confident. Like, okay, Favour Okwanyionu, new territory but we can handle it. The only difference was that this particular report had a totally different format from the one I’m used to. My boss even suggested I meet someone who has done it before, just to guide me. But me? I said, “Shey report is report. I’ll figure it out.” Ah. That was how I spent over 8 hours glued to my phone screen, pressing, checking, correcting, and starting over like a confused apprentice. At some point, my eyes were literally hurting, my brain was tired, and the worst part was I couldn’t even complain properly because I knew this suffering was self-inflicted. I refused help with my full chest, so I had to endure the consequences with the same chest. Eventually, after what felt like a lifetime, I finally submitted it. Late? Y...
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It’s funny how insecurity in Nigeria always feels like something that happens to “other people” until it happens to someone close to you. We hear bad news every day. Kidnapping, robbery, missing people, gunshots. One horror story after another, and because it has become so regular, we’ve almost unconsciously learned how to scroll past it. Not because we don’t care, but because if we let everything pain us, we won’t survive mentally. But then it happened to my smallie. A few days ago, her phone was stolen inside a keke, at gunpoint. Just like that. She left the house normally and came back shaken, and phoneless. It was one of those situations where it’s either “your life or your phone” and obviously, life comes first. But what really shook me wasn’t the phone. It was the reality that this thing is no longer “news.” It’s no longer far away. It’s no longer something that only happens to strangers on Twitter. It is at our doorstep, and that’s the scary part. Because at this point, it’s not...
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Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.

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Story story!!! We’ve all heard the line, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” It’s such a paradoxical statement. Like how can you say you believe, and still ask for help with unbelief? But the funny thing is, that line is one of the most human things ever said in the Bible. Background story, in Mark 9, a father brought his son to Jesus for healing. The child had been suffering since he was young. He would convulse, fall, foam at the mouth, and the spirit in him would sometimes throw him into fire or water, almost like it was trying to kill him. And the father, desperate and tired, said to Jesus: "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." First of all, as I was reading it, I just paused and said, “Wait o… you know who you’re asking if He can do anything?” Jesus replied and basically told him that everything is possible to the person who believes. And the way I imagine it, the father quickly grabbed the opportunity, almost like, “Yes! Yes! I believe!” But then he ad...
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FEELING.

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For the 100th time, you’re not your feelings. “There are days where the world feels like nothing more than a movie, and every day is another scene that requires a new me. I’m expected to act as though I don’t care who sees me, but the audience is filled with people who see right through me.” ~ (A poem sitting rent free in my head all day) You can feel all shades of overwhelmed and overstimulated, but that’s not you. You’re not your pain, your mistakes, your depression. You’re just you. There are days I wake up feeling so ugly. My adorable cheeks feel like a burden, my charming smile gives fake vibes, pimples break through my face, and not to mention my crazy hair. Now, I know I’m beautiful, drop dead kind of gorgeous, but there are days that test the extent of how I truly rate myself. And I can’t lie, I fall for it every now and then. The point is, you can be beautiful and not feel beautiful, and that’s completely fine. What is not fine is concluding you’re ugly simply beca...
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