Favvy_Okwans🖤

How do you see your adversary? Sometimes, we make the mistake of either overestimating or underestimating our adversary. Not only is it unwise, but it is also a dangerous move that could cost you greatly in the long run. My coach would say, “Life is like a coin, and a coin has three sides; the head, the tail, and the edge.” The head side of this coin is this: when you see your opponent as superior, you unconsciously begin to see yourself as inferior, and that is such a limiting mindset. Because as a man thinks, so he is. Then there is the tail side of the coin: when you see your opponent as inferior or beneath you, you become vulnerable to mistakes because you overrate yourself and underrate them. And as King Solomon said, “Pride goes before destruction.” It is pride to assume another person is incapable of thinking deeply or seeing things from angles you have not considered. Finally, there is the edge of the coin. The unusual side where both extremes meet. The wisdom of the edge is ba...

We oftentimes forget to do the simple thing of standing up for ourselves. I know you're good at defending others. I know you'll go to war for the people you love, but would you go to war for you? Would you fight for yourself the way you fight for others? I read somewhere and I'll quote, “the love you so desperately crave, why don't you give it to yourself?” Allow me paraphrase; the love you so freely give others, would it kill you to give some to yourself too? Dearest reader, there was this popular meme I saw recently, it read, “Since consideration is the highest form of love, how come you don't consider yourself?” And truly, how come? How come you're patient with everyone else but harsh on yourself? How come you forgive others for making mistakes but punish yourself for every little thing? How come you constantly pour into people and still leave yourself empty? You deserve softness too. You deserve grace too. You deserve the same kindness you hand out so freely...

How do you keep on keeping on? A friend of mine reached out to me yesterday, commending how well I’m holding up given that it’s been a week since I lost my phone and I’ve still been showing up and carrying on like nothing happened. Omor, I didn’t even know what to say because really, how was I holding up? I was just going through each day and deciding to be happy. I remember spending a whole day crying and that didn’t bring back my phone. Me that does not like stress, anything that’s way out of my control, I won’t even allow it stress me. Being sad wasn’t going to fix it, so I chose not to drown in it. I chose to show up for me and still do what I normally do because I have a system that supports that. I hold myself to a certain standard, a certain routine and like the words from a poem I like say, “even if the light’s turned off and my fears are not gone, I’ll give it my best shot because the show must go on.” Dearest reader, I read somewhere that the world doesn’t stop for broken peo...

I watched a really emotional video today and it left me feeling so many things at once. I don't even know how to explain it properly. It was a TikTok reel of a lady talking about what could genuinely count as one of the worst days of someone's life. She had food poisoning while on a date with the actual love of her life. Like dream man kind of love. And this man cleaned up after her and still married her. At some point she said, "this man cleaned up my diarrhea," and as unreal as it sounded, it was so emotional to me. Because in a generation where people are so quick to write others off, where everyone is expected to always look perfect and have it together, this man stayed. The craziest part is that it was a Netflix and chill type of date in her house. Oga could have quietly left. No explanations. No judgement from anyone. But he stayed, looked beyond the ugliness of the moment, and took care of her. I watched that video over and over again trying not to cry, and it ...

Something intriguing happened today. It was very minute, but you know how the small things mean a lot to people? Yeah, that. I'm new to Benin and I'm more of the Dora the Explorer kind of person, so of course, it is very easy for me to get lost and then find my way again. What happened this time was that I told a bus driver I would be alighting at Ring Road because I was going back to school, and someone on the bus told me not to worry, that the place the driver was stopping also led to Ring Road. We alighted and she pointed out the way to get to Ring Road. She even offered to help me cross to the other side of the road, but I had to withdraw first, and she actually waited for me to finish. She held my hand while crossing, and when she realized I was heading to Ring Road simply because that was the only route I knew back to Ekosodin where I live, she took me through a shorter, easier, and less expensive route instead. Going to Ring Road would have been a complete waste of time ...

  Nsukka I had a bit of catching up with my best friend Lee today and it was fun and nostalgic.  We went down memory lane, back to when we were in secondary school daydreaming about our lives in Nsukka , we did apply to nsukka but never got in. Now, you would want to ask but why Nsukka?  We read a book. Purple hibiscus.  For Lee ahd I, purple hibiscus by Chimamanda ngozi Adechie, was the most epic book we’ve read, and it was our all time favorite, if you’ve read this book you’ll know the story is situated in the town Nsukka in Enugu. Enugu was like a 13hours journey from our town but we didn’t mind the idea of traveling for that long, but why? Literature. Storytelling is so powerful, chimamanda sold us an idea of Nsukka that became magical in our heads, just by telling a story and till this very day many years later, Nsukka still holds so much significance for us. Dearest reader, the thing I love most about writing is this, how I’ve never been to places yet experienc...