Favvy_Okwans🖤

A lot of things could be avoided if we just talked. That was the realization I came to today. I had a little quarrel with one of my favorite people, and for a few days we were at odds. It was such a weird feeling because this is literally the person who vets almost all my edits. I'd finish editing something, instinctively want to send it across, then remember we weren't exactly talking, and I'd just keep my phone. I don't keep grudges, that's too much work. I don't even let the sun set on my anger. I'm usually quick to be the bigger person. So as the days passed, I realized I wasn't angry anymore. Hurt? A little. Disappointed? Maybe. But angry? Not anymore. The problem was that we'd both said things in anger, and pride made it difficult to admit that maybe we had gone too far. We both knew something needed to be fixed, but neither of us wanted to be the first to lower our guard. As we finally made efforts to sort things out, it hit me that almost eve...

"What shapes you isn't what you want to become. It's the journey into who you want to become." ~ IAMP Sometimes, the process is frustrating. It's slow, uncomfortable, and can feel completely unnecessary, but that's exactly where the gold lies. I like to say that when it gets really hard, hold on a little longer. It might just be the point where things are about to change. Because in the end, it isn't really about the destination. It's about the process that gets you there. I remember when I decided I wanted to become a writer. I got a coach, excited to start learning how to write better. Instead of jumping straight into writing, he took me through a process. At the time, it honestly felt like pure wickedness. I couldn't understand why we had to spend so much time on drills that didn't seem to have anything to do with writing. Looking back now, I understand how priceless that process was. At the end of the day, it wasn't talent alone that sh...

You know that thing people say about how being scared of something somehow brings it your way? I've always brushed it off as one of those myths people repeat. That was until I experienced something yesterday  Yesterday, I attended my roommate's department fresher's event. At some point, they announced a game session, and immediately I heard the rules for one particular game, my heart started racing. I was genuinely scared, in fact, I almost stood up to leave. My roommate laughed and said, "Calm down, look around. This hall is filled with so many people, the chances of it getting to you are very slim." That sounded reasonable, so I sat back down, well, you can already guess what happened. Out of everyone in that hall, the game found its way to my side. I was so annoyed ehn, but according to my roommate, my fear was the reason it happened. She insisted I somehow "attracted" it by worrying so much. Now, I don't know if that's true. Was it simply coi...

It was my birthday today, and did the birthday blues get to me? Absolutely. I cried three different times today. If you had asked me why, I honestly wouldn't have had a reasonable answer for you. I just felt heavy. Every birthday carries two emotions. There's the thrill of becoming a year older and the panic of actually becoming a year older. This year was no different, except the panic seemed louder than the excitement. Still, I like to think I'm sober. Deeply grateful for life. Grateful that God has preserved me to see another year. I know that is a gift many never get to experience, and I don't take it for granted. The thing about birthdays is that they force you to reflect. They make you pause, look back, and compare where you are with where you thought you would be. And for someone like me, someone who sets specific goals and timelines for herself, birthdays almost always become an evaluation meeting. Did I become who I wanted to be? Did I do enough? Could I have t...

"Cut off the source and what it strengthens will eventually disappear." ~ X There's no fountain without a source. Literally everything we do springs from somewhere or someone. Every habit, every strength, every weakness, every pattern has something feeding it. Once that connection is severed, what it sustains begins to fade. This works both positively and negatively. I remember a season when I fell out of sync with my coach, for a long time, writing became difficult, words that used to flow effortlessly suddenly felt heavy. It wasn't until we found our rhythm again that the ease returned. Did you catch that? The connection was broken, and the flow disappeared. It reminds me of John 15:5 where Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, and I in them, will bear much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." A branch cut off from the vine cannot keep growing, a fish outside water cannot survive. When the source of life is remov...

Somebody in my department, a 500 level student, died. Today, the department held a condolence procession and candlelight walk in his honour. I wasn't planning to attend because, truthfully, I didn't know him personally. But I knew someone who did, and somehow, that was enough to pull me there. It was an emotional roller coaster. He was so young. As people shared their memories of him, I realized just how deeply he had touched the lives around him. There were tears, laughter through tears, and countless stories of kindness, leadership, and love. Even when it started raining, nobody left. We kept walking through the rain, honouring a life that had ended too soon. Listening to those who knew him, it became obvious that he had lived well. He was the kind of person who carried light wherever he went. So when the person anchoring the procession said, "A good life is not marked by the length of days," those words stayed with me. Because as heartbreaking as today was, I left ...